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| mmm... haven't written about my feelings in a long time.. =) it's been over two years now.. So much about me has changed... all I can say towards these two years, is that I have found my goals and a part of myself i've never known. I am a person who is optimistic and will not back down on my goals. I feel like I can face this world with no fears... well at least overcome them XD Give everyone and everything my all. My existance has a purpose and so far right now.... at this moment in time I need to build my knowlege and strengthen my armor. I will do great things with my life and I am preparing for an amazing battle. =P hehe sounds so corny. | | |
| i am sorry for all the harm that i have caused you. all of you... it is my fault for being selfish | | |
| Addiction... to your smokey mists of love..
Confined... in the laws set by myself..
Constricted... by the battling diemmas..
Choosing whom I want to be...
Yet failing to restrict my feelings and affections for you...
Why is it that I keep falling into your trap..
I'm like a minor prey in your web..
Never enough to satisfy your appetite..
Never enough to ease your pain..
For I will never be the one you long for..
Even so.. I am willing to sacrifice..
Just to see you smile the within your few short moments of happiness..
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| Every step I take,
Every move I make,
Every single day,
Every night I pray,
I'll be missing you.
I never felt nothing in the world like this before,
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door,
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now I’m all alone
Why did you turn away?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
Been a long time since you called me
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
I’ll be waiting …
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| what to do?... where to go...? how to deal?... w/o having you in my life really defeats the purpose of working hard in life.. what is the point of working hard if there is nothing to look forward to?... no one to work toward with? no one to tell my boring day about... no one.. no one there for anything... yet it can't just be anyone right? or can it? where is this leading me to? no where right?? no future.. then why is that I do not care at all?? please will someone just a little bit compatable come into my life and set a spark? actually... never mind i don't know what I want.. even if you came with your arms opened for me... i don't think i'd be able to accept them. everyone has their flaws but somehow I feel like I have the most, so please... leave me alone in the dark so that I can hide for life. it's funny becuase you don't even exist at ALL. So... I shall stop my stupid and idiotic mental thoughts and leave you alone.. haha... this is so depressing it's sad. | | |
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